Starve your Insecurities

My sister Rachael told me about this site called Un-fancy (I am planning on doing the capsule wardrobe, that post will be coming!) and I was browsing through, reading a few things and I came across this quote: 
"There are plenty of things I don’t love about my body, but I refuse to trash talk my own body. That kind of negativity is poison — and totally within my control. The things I tell myself can either feed insecurities or starve them. I choose to starve the little bastards."

Sorry for the language, but FOR REALS!!!! How often do I feed my insecurities? Often. 

Anyone else struggle with feeding insecurities? How do you go to starvation mode?

Mother's Day and Infertility

This year I will be fine. I won't cry or think about what I don't have or feel sorry for myself. I have been telling myself this for weeks in "preparation" for Mother's Day. Anyone who struggles with infertility or doesn't have children for any other reason has probably felt this way. I thought I would be OK. I was OK until we started singing "There is Sunshine in my Soul Today" for the opening song and I just lost it. Good thing Cody had a pack of tissues in his pocket. I think I used most of them. In that moment I did not feel any sunshine in my soul. I just felt longing and sadness. An empty grief. I remember learning about this kind of grief in my schooling, but I can't remember what it was called (looks like my degree is really working out for me :P). But it is a grief for something that you don't have or hasn't happened yet. So you haven't lost anything really, but it is the lack of something that hasn't happened but you want to happen. And there was a baby blessing as well that morning. Man. 
But I had my cry (in front of everyone at church, great) and then I tried to put it aside for the rest of church. It worked mostly, until we were in YW and one of the Laurels taught about prayer and we read the "ask and ye shall receive" verse and I was thinking about that as well. I have asked and asked and worked and worked and nothing. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever have children. Maybe not. I just wish I knew. 
My mum came over for dinner and she always has a way of making me realize how great I have it without even trying to. I am so grateful for her loving kindness to all her children and everyone she comes in contact with. I hope to be half the woman she is someday. She is just amazing. No other way to describe her. It is so interesting to see how she has mothered me and my younger siblings and to see that even though you are awesome, there is still progression and change for the better. I am sure my mum will always keep striving to be better (how does one get better than near perfection? I don't know) and I will continue to learn from her example. 
I am also blessed with a fantastic mother-in-law, who raised an amazing son! I am blessed to have her in my life as well. She is so caring and always ready to help out her children at any time. She loves a good shopping trip (yay! Finally someone who will shop with me!) and has a great time being a mom and grandma. I am blessed with amazing women in my life (mum, mom-in-law, cousins, friends, aunts, grandmas) and am lucky to have amazing role-models to look up to. 
Until the time I am a mother, I will continue to have faith. I will continue to strive to be more like the women I am surrounded by. I will continue to be more like the mother I would like to be someday.