This is exactly how I feel. I want to continue this infertility journey towards fertility, but if you have gone through this you know the pain and anxiety of every month, every treatment, thinking it will work, then finding out it didn't. Then fearing to start again because you will go through the same cycle of pain and anxiety again. I have two events that I have been wanting to sign up for that could help me along my journey, but I have been afraid to sign-up. Why would I be afraid to do something that could help me get what I want more than anything?
Here is what has been on my mind:
What if I don't get sponsored, how will I deal with that emotionally?
What if I ask my family and friends to support me and I don't get sponsored, will they be upset or think it was a waste of their time?
What if no one does want to join my team? (ha, back to being a teenager with teenager fears!)
What if I can't finish the races? (the sign-ups are for 5ks)
Now I am going to force myself to look at the other side:
What if I totally rock the 5k and finish in an amazing time?
What if I have so much support I didn't realize I had?
What if we DO get selected for a grant?!?
Why don't I always think like that?
I think my fears are a protective measure, keeping me from letting myself get hurt. But I will never know if these fears are valid or just holding me back unless I try.
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