The Scale

I haven't stepped on my scale for over a week. I know, that doesn't sound like a long time. But for me it is. Every morning I step on the scale and wait for it to tell me how I should feel about myself and my body today. Judging me for what I ate yesterday or how I didn't work out. I feel long ago I have given up control of my morning mood to my scale. 

I have been in the process of moving and work trips. I haven't even thought about finding my scale. It just hit me today that I haven't weighed in for a while and I am curious and proud at the same time. I have decided my own mood (ok, besides the anxiety from moving, that is kind of taking over right now) and I don't wait for the scale to tell me. I wonder what I weigh. Did I eat too much on my trips? Has all my stressing lead to some weight dropped? Curious. But another part of me is curious how I would feel if I just chucked my scale. I kind of know I won't, just cause I have a number I am shooting for from my doctor, but I don't think I would be brave enough anyways. I admire people who can eliminate things from their lives that aren't bringing them joy, but my obsessive need to know and worrying would drive me more crazy than a number on the scale would I think. But this hiatus has taught me that I won't break apart if I don't know what I weigh. I won't be thinking about it constantly or worrying about it. I will just go about my day trying to make healthy choices and then not judging myself each morning for the previous day. I can do that. I can let go, take breaks, weigh in occasionally, love myself and my body for what it can do! 

I can find balance.