Motivation is a funny thing

Gah, its so hard to be motivated to eat well! That is really what is hanging me up right now, focusing on losing weight. I could go into all kinds of possible reasons, but lets be honest, probably a better place would be in counseling :P But. Have you heard the saying "if you want something bad enough you will make it happen" or many things along those lines. Yeah, I get stuck on that, so why can't I just lose weight if I really want a baby? I do want to have kids, but losing weight is really hard for me. So does that mean I don't really want kids? You see how hearing that message messes with my head?! So, I am trying to figure all this out, I don't have any profound thoughts and I am just writing therapeutically  more than anything. I want to figure all this out. I feel like I have been trying for 20 years, so it is hard to put it all together. I am waiting for some big "ah-ha" moment where I figure it all out, everything changes, and all my dreams come true. Ha. Keep dreaming Becca...