Yesterday was a bad day. I weighed in and had gained two pounds! I yelled and cried and told Cody I was done. I have been fighting this battle for 20 years and I am tired. Just exhausted of this back and forth, always thinking about what I am eating and if I am working out enough and then beating myself up for not doing those things. I am just tired. I don't want to fight anymore. For what? It is hard to see what is in front of me because I don't know. I don't know what it is like to be ueber healthy and skinny. No clue. I just want to give up and just no care anymore.
But I can't.
Because eventually I will feel the way I felt when I started this blog. I need to do this. I have to do this. I don't know if I will succeed.
But I have to try.
That sucks! I have low motivation right now so I definitely know how you're feeling. Just remember that you have everything in front of you to succeed...a supportive husband, a sweet at-home gym, a fitness tracker and myfitnesspal. Plus you are smart and capable and strong and you can do this! All you have to do when the motivation stops is to replace it with work. And then you'll get results and the motivation will come back.
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