Path according to Becca:
When thinking about our infertility journey, journey doesn’t seem like the best word. Sometimes this feels like an infertility roller coaster! Many ups and downs, times you feel like your stomach is in your throat, and times of excitement.
Cody and I started trying to get pregnant while I was in graduate school back in 2011. We timed it carefully so that I would be pregnant while in school and have a baby right after I graduated. Sounds like a great plan, right? We didn’t expect that our great plan would become a struggle, but it was and so our journey began. After about a year of trying to conceive, we realized something wasn’t working. I am lucky to have a supportive cousin, Heidi. She has also struggled with infertility and recommended I go see her doctor to see what was going on. I put it off for a while, thinking that maybe if I didn’t know, then I could just believe that nothing was wrong. I attended a seminar and it was scary and a relief all at the same time. Some infertility myths were dispelled, which was very comforting, but I also realized that something might be wrong and I needed to start working with a doctor to find out. Over the past two years we have tried many different things: timed intercourse cycles, medication, and IUIs. Early on in the treatments I had one pregnancy that unfortunately ended at five weeks. This broke my heart, but gave me hope that a pregnancy might be possible. We continued treatment with no success. Throughout that time I would take a month off here and there to maintain my emotional health. This whole process is so fraught with emotion and questions and so we do what we can to take care of all aspects of ourselves.
Although we are still struggling with infertility there are many things through this journey that have brought me joy, the most important one being my husband. He has been with me through all of my downs (and there have been a lot) to comfort me and let me cry on his shoulder. He is a “fix-it” man and is always trying to help me succeed in my goals of managing my PCOS and keeping an optimistic attitude. I find joy in being with my family and friends and am trying to reach out to others who are struggling with infertility. I am amazed at the love and support I feel from the people around me. The knowledge that I am not alone and people are hoping and praying for me gives me comfort when it seems to difficult to deal with. The longer I am on this journey, the more I realize how important it is to have a strong support network and reach out to others who are looking for the same thing. I constantly hope and pray that somehow this journey of infertility will end with children, and although I don’t know how or when that will happen, I always try to remain hopeful.
Path according to Cody:
No one ever thinks that they won’t be able to have kids. When we first got married we had a plan that as soon as we were both done with school we would start trying to get pregnant. We both come from different size families and from early on in our relationship we discussed how many kids we wanted to have. After several discussions we decided that 5 kids would make for an amazing family. And, based on when we got married and when we would start trying to get pregnant, 5 kids seemed totally possible. The longer we kept trying without success though the harder that goal seems to be.
We’ve been trying to get pregnant now for 3 years. After the first year we finally decided to go to a fertility doctor to see if there was something that could be preventing us from getting pregnant. At the first visit they found that Becca had PCOS. So, we started trying to get pregnant again but this time there were medications involved that would supposedly help the process along. It seemed like Becca was taking a medication with every meal but we figured that if it would help us get pregnant than it was worth it.
At first, we went through three cycles where we used Clomid and timed intercourse to try to improve our chances. Each month brought new waves of up’s and down’s and there was even one month where the blood test came back saying we were pregnant. But we found out later that Becca actually miscarried after only 5 weeks. Our doctor saw this is a positive in the thought that at least we know now that we can get pregnant. For us though it was really hard to see the positive but we kept on trying and did a couple more cycles of Clomid and timed intercourse.
After several failed attempts of trying just Clomid and timed intercourse we moved on to IUI treatments. So far we've tried this twice without any success. At this point we our doctor is willing to try one more cycle of IUI before we move on to IVF. But, we've decided that we have a couple things that we can do that could improve our chances of getting pregnant that we want to do before we continue with the fertility treatments. We both have set weight goals and exercise goals that we that will put our bodies in a better place in the hopes that it will improve our chances of getting pregnant. To be honest, it’s not easy. This has involved a complete change to our lifestyle and there are a lot of things that could still be improved but we keep trying.
If you had asked me 5 years ago what my family would look like right now the answer would have involved at least two kids and hopefully a couple more on the way. But, the sad reality is that things haven’t really worked out like I thought they would. That being said, there is one thing that has not changed. We still really want to have kids and if at all possible we’d still like to have our 5 kids like we planned when we first started off.
