Accentuate the Positive!

Although there are a lot of sucky things I could blog about, this being the week after a holiday full of chocolate, I have decided to write about positive things. Which is the opposite of how I feel like being right now (great article about that here). So, testing this article out, here goes. 
I love that I have been eating pomegranate arils from my stocking pom. 
I had a great time being with my family for Christmas!
I have made a plan for this week for working out and will be ok with being flexible.
I have a blendtec, thanks to my wonderful husband! I picked it out, but he bought it for me :) Green smoothies here we come!
I have a goal of doing my last IUI cycle in February, so I need to be down at least 10 lbs before I do that. So I have a very short term goal and Cody is on board to encourage and support me!
Ok, the power of suggestion is powerful! I feel better  :) 

Consistancy

I need consistency. I am like a little kid in that way. I didn't log since I have been sick and now it is like so hard to do and I don't want to anymore. What happened?!? I know I am super unmotivated when I am sick, but I need the every day effort and consistency to keep me going. Stick to it Becca! You can do this! Done with the self pep talk now :)

To Share or Not to Share

That's a good question. I have been thinking about that for a while. I started this blog and vacillated between sharing this with my friends and family or just keeping it to myself. Somehow my cousin found it (how did you find it Kellie?) and that got me thinking maybe I should share it? But then the other part of me thinks, who cares? I am writing these things for myself more than anything, but would having the extra support help? Would it just make me feel worse cause I would just start worrying about how many posts I put up or how many people have actually read them? It is interesting how the writing voice changes when I know people are reading. And I don't want that to happen, I want this to be a place where I can just write and be honest and open and sucky and wonderful or "whatever I want to write, gosh!" The question is do I want everyone to read my honest, open, sucky, wonderful stuff?












Sigh. I will keep thinking...

Fire...or more like a little match flame

Days off are therapeutic. 

I had just such a day last week that seemed to light a (little) fire in me. I have been struggling since I started this journey (for the umpteenth time) and had gained 6 pounds over my starting weight in a matter of a few weeks. Gah! That is a normal thing for me though, to gain weight really quickly and lose is super slowly. Anyways, I took the day off and I got so many things done it was amazing for me. It seemed like so many things just clicked that day: I read my cousin's blog, she is also dealing with PCOS and I was just super proud of her for her achievements. I logged all my food, I took a walk, got all my points on my Misfit Flash (I love my Flash!) and just had a really great day. It is like something clicked. I don't know what, but I have been doing well since then. Yes, I know today is only Monday, but to go 3 days straight logging food is like a miracle for me. Especially over the weekend. And I feel different about it, like I am in a better place emotionally. I haven't been looking at this as a chore, but something I want to do. If I go over my calories,  THAT'S OK!! That has been a hard thing for me to grasp, I am kind of a perfectionist. I am working on being more forgiving to myself and more patient (a skill I am sorely lacking). 
Over those three days I have "lost" three pounds! I am sure water weight has a lot to do with it, but it is better to see the scale going in a downward direction. My goal is to be back to my starting weight by the end of this week and keep on going from there!

I don't know what made that Friday different, but something did. I now have a little flame. It might not be much, but I will take it. 

Setbacks

Dang Thanksgiving and Disneyland. I am now OVER my starting weight, gah! It is so super discouraging when I make the choices that lead to this outcome. And I can't blame Disneyland or Thanksgiving (both wonderful things) for my poor choices and attitudes. When I have setbacks like this, my usual way of dealing with it is to give up. I don't like doing hard things. So...yeah, this losing weight thing sucks. It is hard to get back on track and not get discouraged at how far I have to go. And I know, I should look at how far I have come and focus on the positive. But that doesn't come naturally to me. So along with focusing on losing weight I need to focus on my mental health as well. Too much to focus on it seems. How does one prioritize? What comes first?